THE PRESTIGE

You cannot tell me that Kirk Gibson and Kurt Rambis are not the same dude.  I swear they went all "The Prestige" on the world before Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale actually starred in "The Prestige" ("The Prestige" is actually a very delightful and entertaining movie I must say.  I give it a Big Hairy Nastradamus of Nonsense Nutsack Down. My testicles hang low like the ball at the start of a tetherball game.).  Therefore, the man who hit the game winning homer for the Dodgers in game 1 of the 1988 World Series is the same dude who was diving on the floor for loose balls and grabbing rebounds and outletting them to Earvin "Tragic" Johnson during the 80's Showtime Laker days.  Oh Kirk and Kurt, you may have the world fooled but not I.  I swear, if you go to the Old Great Western Forum or Dodger Stadium, you'll find cloned bodies of Rambis and Gibson underneath the stadiums in vast tanks of water. (If you have not seen "The Prestige", this post would've made no sense to you.  If you are one of those people, then I'd say rent it, mainly to see Scarlett Johansen's big milky white cleavage.  While you're at it pick up "The Illusionist" to stare at Jessica Biel's glorious Jim Henson sweater-puppets).

Best Reality Show Host

RYAN SEACREST

OR

DAVID "FUTURE" PORTER

Ultimate Battle of Wits

            

T-PAIN                   vs.          GLORIA CLEMENTE

T-Pain: All I do is win win win no matter what.
Gloria Clemente: Sometimes when you win, you really lose.
T-Pain: But all I do is win win win no matter what.
Gloria Clemente: Sometimes when you lose, you really win.
T-Pain: Like I said, all I do is win win win no matter what.
Gloria Clemente: Sometime when you win or lose you actually tie.
T-Pain: Bitch, did you not hear me?!?!! All I do is win win win no matter what!!!!
Gloria Clemente: Sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose.
T-Pain:  Fuck it, I give up!!

Secret Love Child

 OBAMA                                                     CARE BEAR

 + =...

OBAMACARE!!!

Nastradamus Treasure Map

Macintosh HD ---> Documents ---> BarBri Review Course ---> Character & Fitness ---> Untitled --->

XXX Marks the Spot

Reduce Your Carbon Footprint

FUUUUUUUCK THAT!!!!  I refuse to reduce my carbon footprint.  In fact, I am doing everything in my power to get my carbon footprint as big as I can.  All the girls say "the bigger the foot, the bigger the dick", and I could use a few inches south of the equator if you know what I'm saying.  All these hippies trying to get people to reduce their carbon footprint is like a form of tree hugging ancient Chinese footbinding.  I refuse to be a part of this torture and subjugation. That is why I am typing this blog with my toes while spraying two aerosol cans in the air and crushing styrofoam cups with my butt-cheeks. 

Nastradamus of Nonsense Book of the Month

O.J. SIMPSON'S "IF I DID IT"

The inaugural Nastradamus of Nonsense Book Club opens up with the must-read book of the 20th century, O.J. Simpson's "If I Did It".  Initially O.J. wanted to title the book ""If" Wink Wink I Did It", but thankfully his lawyers stepped in an advised him to use the shorter and less incriminating title "If I Did It".