Julius Caesar 47 B.C.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
What The Fuck You Think I Wanna Do?!?!!
COLOR ME BADD "I WANNA SEX YOU UP"
Is it me or does the curly hair dude look like a cross-breed between Kenny G and Edward Scissor Hands?? It's freakin' the shit out of me!!! Im also pretty sure the black dude is rockin the same hat Janet Jackson wore in her Rhythm Nation video. On that note, did u know Kane from Menace II Society is in the Rhythm Nation video? Of course we all know he was in Michael Jordan's Playground and Belly as well. If that's not worthy of a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame then I don't know what is. Black Actors!!
First Team All-American Chicago Based Sitcoms
FAMILY MATTERS
MARRIED... WITH CHILDREN
PUNKY BREWSTER
WEBSTER
KENAN & KEL
And the Oscar Goes To...
SURF NINJAS 2
Since we are in full swing of the movie award season, the Nastradamus of Nonsense has been concocting movie ideas to bring all those little golden statues to the Nastradamus of Nonsense's man labyrinth. Thus, I am currently working on the script for a remake of Surf Ninjas, with Justin Bieber as the lead character, Zach Galifanakis and Tracy Morgan as his wacky sidekicks, and Sir Ben Kingsley as the bad guy. The tag line would be Point Break meets Power Rangers meets To Catch a Predator, BOOM!! I'm writing my Oscar acceptance speech as we speak. Just a heads up, half will be in Klingon and the other half will be in PootiTanguage...
Must be the Pepto-Bismol Suit
DEION SANDERS "MUST BE THE MONEY"
Greatest Bar Fight Ever
Garbage Pail Kids Bar Fight: This is hands down the greatest/freakiest/most confusing movie bar fight scene ever!! The Garbage Pail Kids are a forgotten national treasure, along with Howard the Duck and Crocodile Dundee. Btw, is it me or does the little dude look like David Ortiz' cousin, lets call him Lil' Dominican Lou, on his mommas side of course. Dudes got a fierce Jheri-Curl/Perm hybrid shag though...
This Poster Is Better Than You
THE RAVISHING RICK RUDE
The title of this entry is a double entendre as both "this poster", i.e. me, the Nastradamus of Nonsense, and "this poster", of The Ravishing Rick Rude, are both better than you, and by you I'm talking to you Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme. But I digressed, the Ravishing Rick Rude is probably one of the most underrated WWF characters of all time. (1) Look at his shag; (2) look at his Magnum P.I. stasch; (3) the dude has a picture of his own face in the crotch area on some safari green spandex; and (4) the ladies love him as the pink lipstick kiss with "Simply Ravishing" in the lips border on the poster clearly indicates. And I'm just going to be honest, I'm a huge fan of the word Ravishing, as well as the word Snuka, from my other favorite WWF wrestler, Superfly Jimmy Snuka...
Monday, February 7, 2011
That's Not A Knife...
And then O.J. Simpson came in after the multi-ethnic gang retreated and told Dundee, "that's not a knife, this is a knife", and i think we all know how that story ends. Also, Crocodile Dundee didn't have to slash up buddy's replica Michael Jackson Thriller jacket. That was very childish and unnecessary Crocodile Dundee, I'm calling bullshit on you...
Now that's Some Freaky Shit!!!
Popcorn Shrimp Anyone????
POPCORN SHRIMP
Wait, did you say...
Calcium or Cow Semen
Waiter: 50% more cow semen sir.
Patron: Wow!!! That... is... AWESOME!!! When you think this place can't get any better you drop this bomb on me. In that case, I'll have the tallest glass of your finest pale ale please.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Self Proclaimed Greatest Facebooker of our Generation
Friday, January 28, 2011
Egypt Needs A Little Love
EGYPTIAN LOVER
Some of you may not know this, but the Nastradamus of Nonsense is a worldly man and, more importantly, a man of peace. Thus I am writing this post as a plea for all Egyptians, citizens and police, to put down their guns, fire-hoses, tear-gas, and other arms, and blow off your '87 Boombox and pop in an old-school Egyptian Lover cassette tape and just dance (I guess your national dance is "Walk Like an Egyptian" if I'm not mistaken) out your problems. I am also sending out an S.O.S. emergency plea for the Egyptian Lover to make an anti-violence P.S.A. as soon as possible to bring peace to Egypt!! As you can easily tell from the picture above, Egyptian Lover has a Top 5 jherri-curl of ALL TIME, and he aint to be fucked wit'!!!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Rahmbo!!
RAHM EMMANUEL
aka
He's bbbbbaaccckkk!!!! Rahm Emmanuel is back in the race for mayor of Chicago as the Illinois Supreme Court reversed a lower-courts decision that Rahmbo did not meet residency requirements. If Rahmbo decides to campaign through the mean streets of the southside of Chicago, he'll need all that artillery he was hauling around in First Blood. Obbbaaaammmaaaaa (In the voice of Rocky screaming out "Adrriiiaaaannnn").
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The Birds and the Bees for Trees (A Little Fatherleaf Advice)
Son Plant: Hey dad, what's up.
Father Plant: You're getting older and I see you looking at other leaves, so let me give you a little piece of advice my father gave me. Leaves of 3 leave them be.
Son Plant: Leaves of 3 leave them be?? Why?
Father Plant: 'Cuz they're no good, and are dirty. Very very dirty.
Son Plant: Dirty??
Father Plant: Yes dirty!!! You mess with a 3 leafed chick, and you're dickstem will swell up, get all red, be itching all day, and will be oozing pus like a leaky slurpee machine at 7-11 until the day you become mulch!!
Son Plant: Geez!!! Well, what about 4 leafed girls??
Father Plant: Ahh, 4 leaved girls. Now those are the real prize. I've had a few 4's back in my day. Leaves of 3, leave them be, but leaves of 4, have some more, and more, and more, and more more more, hahahaa.
Son Plant: Uhhh, thanks dad... I guess.
Father Plant: No problem son, that's what I'm here for. Now go swing over to your mom and tell her to bring her thick ass veins and sexy apex over here so I can tear her Pulvinus up!!!
Son Plant: Grose dad!!!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
HBD...
THE HONKY TONK MAN
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
First Team All-American Pyramids
THE PYRAMIDS OF GIZA
THE FOOD PYRAMID
THE PYRAMID OF SUCCESS
THE PYRAMID GAME
THE PYRAMID SCHEME
What Cologne Is That...
Scqunke for Men
Facebook Theme Song
Kobe Bryant's Chinese Foot Fetish
As you can easily tell from the title of this post and accompanying link above, Kobe Bryant is being immortalized and getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at Grauman's Chinese Theater on February 19, 2011. While I am all for Kobe receiving a star on the walk of fame, I am not for him being the first athlete to receive such an honor as there are many other athletes who have had success not only on the field or court, but have crossed over into film, television, and music. Below, I list a number of stars who also deserve to be enshrined on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Magic Johnson
[The Magic Hour late night talk show, Remember the Times w/ Michael Jackson. ** It must be noted that Magic already has a star, but it's for his chain of Movie Theaters and not his acting/talk show.]
Michael Jordan
[Space Jam, Pro Stars, Nike/Gatorade/Wheaties/McDonalds Commercials, Jam w/ Michael Jackson]
Deion Sanders
[Prime Time, Must Be the Money, Straight to My Feet w/ MC Hammer, Celtic Pride]
Jim Brown
[I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Mars Attacks, Any Given Sunday, Original Gangstas]
Mike Tyson
[Entourage, Black and White, The Hangover]
Wilt Chamberlain
[Conan the Destroyer (Wilt's character in the movie was named Bombaata. So good it's fattening!!)]
Kareem Abdul-Jabar
[Fletch, BASEketball, Airplane, The Game of Death w/ Bruce Lee, Slam Dunk Ernest]
Shaquille O'Neal
[Greatest Rapthlete Ever, Blue Chips, Steel, CB4, Kazaam]
O.J. Simpson
[Hertz Commercials, The Naked Gun Trilogy, Roots, The O.J. Simpson Trial]
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
First Team All-American Basketball Movies
JUWANNA MANN
THE AIR UP THERE
CELTIC PRIDE
AIR BUD
SLAM DUNK ERNEST
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