Class Action Suit

I am brining a Class Action suit against the times 11:11 am and 11:11 pm.  I have spent and wasted so much time watching the clock, waiting for 11:11 to hit, I make a wish and then... NOTHING!!!!  I don't expect the fruits of my wish to appear instantly, and I don't even make ridiculous perverted sexual wishes like I do on my birthday, or when I see a shooting star, like hoping my Raggedy Anne bed doll comes to life and gives me a rusty trombone until I blow a massive load which pulverizes Tinkerbell and glues her to my dartboard.  No, these are not the things I wish for at 11:11.  I make simple wishes like, wishing my left testicle didn't hang 4 inches lower than my right or, wishing I wasn't sexually aroused by 1980 L.A. Laker colored sock puppets, simply things like that.  But every time I wish, I wait, and I am disappointed.

That is why I have decided to bring this Class Action Suit.  We the people have been bamboozled and hoodwinked for too long by these Voodoo Gypsy Sirens known as 11:11 am and 11:11 pm.  If you have had your hopes built up by the 11:11's and then your dreams stolen, laughed at, and then shit on, call the Law Offices of the Nastradamus of Nonsense at 1-800-S-M-D-11-11. Se Hable Espanol...