Sexiest Food

GRAPES

By far the sexiest food out there is grapes.  Some of you may be scratching your heads like "grapes?!?!!" Yes, GRAPES muthafuckas!!!  This goes all the way back to the days of fat corrupt Roman Senators laying on couches in elegant marble atriums in long white robes being fed grapes on stems by their concubines.  Every since these images have been etched into our memory, grapes have become, and are the most seductive and sexy foods out there.  No matter how much of a fat disgusting slob you are, having grapes fed to you by a chick makes you a lot less repulsive.  Some of you are thinking, its not the food, its the girls feeding the food you jackass.  FALSE!!!  If you imagine a hott chick feeding some dude steak, or some lobster, or caviar, it does not brand the same baller ass image of a chick daintily holding the end of a grape stem as she lowers the grapes into the guys mouth.  That's why grapes are the sexiest food, and that is why I have a mini-fridge next to my futon stocked with red and purple grapes (o yea, red and purple grapes are much sexier than the green ones) so when a chick comes over she can feed me grapes as I lay down with one hand, and massage my hemorrhoids with Preparation-H with the other. SEEXXXIIIIEEEEEE!!!!