SIMBA JESUS
Jesus: You must be out of your fuckin' mind Simba. How in the hell do you figure you're the true King?
Simba: Did you see when I was born yo?!?! Animals from all over the world traveled to see me. I had herbivores, omnivores and even fuckin' carnivores coming together peacefully, dappin' each other up like the L.A. Crips-Bloods gang truce in '93 for my unveiling yo. That is what a true King does, unite those underneath him.
Jesus: First off all, animals didn't travel across the world to see you, they traveled across a field and a shallow river at best. Plus you had no humans there, just like 3 elephants, some hippos, a few deer and gazelles, and bunch of lazy ass birds who copped a free ride on the elephants tusks. It looked like a lame ass MTV Super Sweet 16 party, and you were the biggest pussy ever to appear on the show, pun intended. And if you're such a great and beloved King, where were the Hyenas at?!?!!
Simba: Fuck those bitchass Hyenas!! I know you saw the reaction of the animals when that arthritic monkey held me over the cliff J, shit was bananas yo!! And at least I had a massive group of peops show up when I was born. Much better than your birth, in a manger, with just your mom and pops fleeing King DJ Hero, and being visited by three internet predator perverts.
Jesus: First you moron, it was King Herod, and secondly dickhead, they weren't internet perverts, they were three wisemen who traveled a great distance to see their King, with gifts of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrhh bitch!!
Simba: Ha! Wuh.. wut da fuck is Frankincense and Myrhh?!?! Frankincense sounds like a line of scented bathroom candles designed by Frankenstein, HA!!
Jesus: They're what's given to a true King, a King who doesn't run off into the woods like a little bitch after his dad is killed, has a boar and a fuckin' heroine addicted squirrel as his posse, and eats bugs from trees. And what King has only 2 followers?!?! I had 12 Apostles following me, and they were willing to serve and die for their King.
Simba: 12 Apostles, big whoop!! One of them even sold you out, ha!! What was his name again, Ju.. Jud... Zab Judah???
Jesus: Ii.. ittt was Judas!!
Simba: Ha, yea, Juuuuuudas!! And tell me this, how are you supposed to be "King of the Jews", when Jewish people don't even believe or recognize you as their King?!!?! That's like a Chinese riddle or something, haha.
T.I.: Alright, I've heard you drunken idiots argue long enough, I've gotta roll. But for the record, we all know I'm the King of the South.
Simba: O yea, no doubt about that.
Jesus: Come on T.I., that ain't even a question playa, everyone knows you're the King of the South. Be easy.
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