Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Tweetstory Lesson

@BigBrutus Vidi, Vici, Veni on dem hoes titties last night!!! LOL #BigPimpin...


Julius Caesar 47 B.C.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

What The Fuck You Think I Wanna Do?!?!!

COLOR ME BADD "I WANNA SEX YOU UP"
Is it me or does the curly hair dude look like a cross-breed between Kenny G and Edward Scissor Hands?? It's freakin' the shit out of me!!! Im also pretty sure the black dude is rockin the same hat Janet Jackson wore in her Rhythm Nation video. On that note, did u know Kane from Menace II Society is in the Rhythm Nation video? Of course we all know he was in Michael Jordan's Playground and Belly as well. If that's not worthy of a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame then I don't know what is. Black Actors!!

First Team All-American Chicago Based Sitcoms

FAMILY MATTERS

MARRIED... WITH CHILDREN

PUNKY BREWSTER

WEBSTER

KENAN & KEL

Definitely Feelin' My Man Pogo... PAUSE!!!

POGO "UPular Remix"

Hip-Hop Quotable

"Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless."

Kenny Powers

And the Oscar Goes To...

SURF NINJAS 2


Since we are in full swing of the movie award season, the Nastradamus of Nonsense has been concocting movie ideas to bring all those little golden statues to the Nastradamus of Nonsense's man labyrinth. Thus, I am currently working on the script for a remake of Surf Ninjas, with Justin Bieber as the lead character, Zach Galifanakis and Tracy Morgan as his wacky sidekicks, and Sir Ben Kingsley as the bad guy. The tag line would be Point Break meets Power Rangers meets To Catch a Predator, BOOM!! I'm writing my Oscar acceptance speech as we speak. Just a heads up, half will be in Klingon and the other half will be in PootiTanguage...

Must be the Pepto-Bismol Suit

DEION SANDERS "MUST BE THE MONEY"

I think it should be mandatory for every all-star pro athlete to record at least one song and music video to accompany it and when I take this case to the Supreme Court, Deion Sanders' "Must Be the Money" will be Exhibit A (He set the precedent for making it rain, BOOM!!). Deion Sanders Pepto-Bismol suit makes its appearance at the 1:53 mark and it takes no prisoners from then on. My insiders at the Football Hall of Fame told me that this video and Deion Sanders retina ravaging pink suit was what catapulted him into the Hall and not his high-stepping interceptions returned for touchdowns...

Greatest Bar Fight Ever


Garbage Pail Kids Bar Fight: This is hands down the greatest/freakiest/most confusing movie bar fight scene ever!! The Garbage Pail Kids are a forgotten national treasure, along with Howard the Duck and Crocodile Dundee. Btw, is it me or does the little dude look like David Ortiz' cousin, lets call him Lil' Dominican Lou, on his mommas side of course. Dudes got a fierce Jheri-Curl/Perm hybrid shag though...

This Poster Is Better Than You

THE RAVISHING RICK RUDE

The title of this entry is a double entendre as both "this poster", i.e. me, the Nastradamus of Nonsense, and "this poster", of The Ravishing Rick Rude, are both better than you, and by you I'm talking to you Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme. But I digressed, the Ravishing Rick Rude is probably one of the most underrated WWF characters of all time. (1) Look at his shag; (2) look at his Magnum P.I. stasch; (3) the dude has a picture of his own face in the crotch area on some safari green spandex; and (4) the ladies love him as the pink lipstick kiss with "Simply Ravishing" in the lips border on the poster clearly indicates. And I'm just going to be honest, I'm a huge fan of the word Ravishing, as well as the word Snuka, from my other favorite WWF wrestler, Superfly Jimmy Snuka...

Monday, February 7, 2011

That's Not A Knife...

And then O.J. Simpson came in after the multi-ethnic gang retreated and told Dundee, "that's not a knife, this is a knife", and i think we all know how that story ends. Also, Crocodile Dundee didn't have to slash up buddy's replica Michael Jackson Thriller jacket. That was very childish and unnecessary Crocodile Dundee, I'm calling bullshit on you...

Now that's Some Freaky Shit!!!


Clowns don't scare me, a group of freaky clowns getting out of a small car defying the laws of physics scares me...

Popcorn Shrimp Anyone????

POPCORN SHRIMP

Popcorn Shrimp would be a fantastic WWF Wrestling name for a midget sidekick loosely based off of Pvt. Benjamin Buford 'Bubba' Blue in Forrest Gump... The name of his moves are unlimited, The Beer Battered Butt-Bomb, The Deep Frier Figure-Four, The Side of Coleslaw Body Slam, or the High-Blood Pressure Power Pin, we could go on and on....

Wait, did you say...

Calcium or Cow Semen

Patron: Wait, did you say your milk now has 50% more "calcium", or 50% more "cow semen"??
Waiter: 50% more cow semen sir.
Patron: Wow!!! That... is... AWESOME!!! When you think this place can't get any better you drop this bomb on me. In that case, I'll have the tallest glass of your finest pale ale please.