It's Much Easier Today To...

Watch Porn: Nowadays, kids have it so easy with access to porn and it makes me fuckin' sick!!!  Not cuz I care about their welfare or future, fuck them, but because it was so hard when I was growing up to see some voluptuous sweater puppets.  Kids now have so much access to endless amounts of hi-def, various camera angles, director commentator porn and even know all about porn categories, like milf, squirter, bukkake and voyeur by the time they're fuckin' five!!  When I was a kid (and by kid i mean like 12) and I wanted to watch some nice moving picture pornography (shit could barely be called videos or movies back then.  We were barely out of the silent film era when I first started watching video porn.  Shit was damn near illegal during the first part of my life cuz hotly contested Supreme Court cases were going on), I had to set my mental alarm for 2am to wake up and sneak downstairs for some late night softcore Skinemax (These young bastards dont even know about the softcore 90's, or as I like to call it, the years of Shannon Tweed).  If not that, then I had to watch that blurry ass Channel 99 Playboy station and hope the static froze at the exact moment when a woman's breast was in "focus", and focus in those days was equivalent to a swamp-green titty that looked more like a tetris block than a breast.  U lucky and ungrateful little twirps...