Motivational Speech to the Switchblade and Brass Knuckles

                            BRASS KNUCKLES                     SWITCHBLADE

Ahhh, come on fellas, keep your heads up.  Your time will come again.  I know most gangsters these days are using guns, but that can't last forever.  Plus we've got Obama in office and he plans to enforce stringent laws on gun control and then you watch, you guys will be right back on top.

Oh, come on now Brass Knuckles, don't look like that.  You're a fuckin' mans mans weapon, Fierce, yet Fair.  When you were in "3 O'Clock High" in 1987, woooooohh, shit still gives me chills today!!!!  And you think Mookie and the rest of Bedstuy Brooklyn rioted because police killed Radio Raheem in "Do the Right Thing"???  Hell nah man, they rioted cuz of you, cuz they wanted those "Love" "Hate" gold brass knuckles on Radio Raheem's right and left hand.  That was for you man, they torched that pizza shop for you.  Hell, Nelly even made an album about you... sure it was dog shit, but how many weapons can say an artist named an album after them?? And not just any artist, we're talkin' "andele andele andele mami, E.I. E.I. Uh-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" NELLY!!! Haha, I see you smilin' Brass Knuckles, I see you smilin', that's what I'm talkin' bout.

And you, Switchblade, you were, and STILL ARE, one of the baddest, coolest, most iconic and sexiest muthafuckin' weapons EVER!!!  Nobody remembers Keiefer Sutherland in "Stand By Me", but they damn sure remember that switchblade he carried around.  Every time I tell someone "hey, did you know Kiefer Sutherland was in Stand By Me", you know what they say to me, do you? They be like, "Kiefer Sutherland?? You mean that dude with the badass switchblade???".   You MADE Ace Merrill!!!  Hell, you WERE Ace Merrill!!!  Lucas and Spielberg could CGI a sock puppet to stand in for Kiefer, and as long as that sock holds that badass muthafuckin' switchblade, "Stand By Me" will be still standing.  And if that don't cheer ya up all I gotta say is Michael...Jackson...Beat It!!!  Michael Jackson made some of the greatest videos ever, and you know what everyone tells me is their favorite scene in a Michael Jackson music video, do you... yea, thats right, the muthafuckin' switchblade poolhall fight scene in "Beat It".

Now you boys keep your heads up, and like the South, you will rise again.